The Long, Hard Slog

The site where I get the data about casualties in the Iraq war had this statement recently, on a page where there is analysis of the casualty trends:

U.S. Fatalities are currently at the lowest levels since Rumsfeld called our war effort a "Long Hard Slog" in 2003. Then, U.S. Soldiers were dying at a rate of one per day, and through June they have been dying at approximately the same rate. The question facing our political and military leaders five years later, as they negotiate a long term Status of Forces Agreement And encourage the Iraqis to make concrete political progress is, "How long will this slog continue?" (The same question applies to Afghanistan, where fatalities In June were 27, equaling the highest total of the war in June 2005).

What a difference five years makes.

Five years ago, one soldier dying each day was call the Long Hard Slog. Now, one soldier dying a day is seen as a sign that the war is going well. As I work on the cranes to represent fallen soldiers from 2004, there are months were the average is over 4 deaths per day. There are weeks that there are more than 7 deaths per day on average. As I write this, the situation in Afghanistan is declining. Nine soldiers were killed in conflict with Taliban militants near the Pakistan border today. The worst single day loss in Afghanistan in many years.

A few days ago, Iran tested missiles. Saber rattling is increasing on all sides.

And as I fold the cranes, I feel like I am in the middle of the long hard slog. Certainly, there is no comparison to the challenges that the soldiers face, but as I fold cranes for these days of heavy casualties in the war, it can be discouraging. I usually make eight cranes in one sitting. It takes about an hour, and the pan I cure them in will hold eight cranes. When I finish eight, I add to my total, and note the date on the last crane made. When I make eight cranes and progress by a day, or not even a day, it is discouraging. The task seems endless.

Adding to the sense of the long hard slog, I struggle with the motivation to stay on track. Focused on making those 16 cranes per day, when to this day I do not have the answer to the question I hear most often. "Where will they go?"

I have not yet found a place to exhibit all the cranes when they are done. I know as I get closer to catching up to the current toll, it may be easier to find a place. There is a leap of faith to commit a space to an unfinished, immense project. Yet the lack of a firm, external deadline can create lots of desire to do something else. When I had the conference in New York to prepare for, I got behind. Away from home for several days, I got further behind. Having to attend to business and get orders shipped, I got further behind. I am now about 250 cranes behind my target. It is a strictly self imposed target. But it still feels as crappy to be behind my target, as if it was a real deadline. I know I will catch up. Eight to sixteen crane extra, a few days a week, and the gap will shrink.

Taking on an immense project will inevitably have this point. You are in it. You have committed to the project, and want to complete the project. But the endpoint seems impossibly far away. It is necessary to remember, it is many small steps that get to the final goal. Refocusing on sixteen or more cranes per day. Taking little steps to find folders, to find a place, to string up cranes. Lots of little steps. Perpetual motion, even when it seems as if nothing is moving.

E-mails, comments and donations from you have helped when I feel a bit overwhelmed. Five hundred cranes are coming my way from the west coast, and one folder has made a donation as well. A teacher folded cranes with her class and has a box of cranes for the project. Someone who has one hundred cranes folded.