I have always had a facility for remembering numbers. Although, these days when people have more than one phone number, and we may have several pin numbers floating in our head, that ability has been challenged. And yet, I find the statistics of this war are carried in my head.
At any point in time, if the subject of this project comes up, I find the current toll is right at the top of my head. Yesterday, as I heard the radio in the background, they were discussing the deaths of two contractors. Immediately I found myself doing the math...450.
How many, or perhaps I should say, how few of us realize just how many people are dying each and every day in Iraq. The Iraq Body Count, a fairly conservative estimate of the Iraqis that have died is over 100,000 now. We have hit the nice round number of 4300 American soldiers.
But, all of these facts don't have the impact for me that seeing all the cranes collecting in my basement, or the bags and boxes of waxed paper cranes. And, I have a long way to go still.
This Memorial Day weekend, if you can, find out about one person who died in Iraq, if you don't know anyone. There is plenty of information on line. Join their families and friends, and have that person on your mind this weekend. Make their spirit precious to you for a day. You will be living what Memorial Day weekend was meant to be. Not about picnics, and sales. Those things will happen regardless. But along side them, especially while we are at war in two countries, we need to remember and honor.
Sunday, May 24, 2009
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Measures of Progress
I have found myself bogged down in the process of making polymer clay cranes. For much of the winter, progress dragged to a slow crawl. I struggled to get them made, and I also searched for an answer to why it was such a challenge.
Of course, shear magnitude of the numbers, and the fact the number keeps growing is perhaps a small part of the challenge. It is easy to feel overwhelmed. But I knew it was something deeper than that.
Why?
In the beginning of a new project, there is lots of energy, and that surely has worn off by now. But, this was deeper than that.
What was it?
I think I finally figured out where at least part of the challenge was coming from.
I print out the names and other information that I transfer on to the wings in sheets of thirty. And I make the cranes in a tray with eight at a time. Those numbers; the numbers per sheet, and per tray, could be considered the constants of this project. What has changed though, is that as I moved into late 2004, and beyond, is the rate of casualties.
May 2005 seemed as if it would never end. I would make a tray of cranes and be dismayed to see that it was only a few days at best. I finally finished May, and felt a sense of renewal as I began a new month. This energy was quickly dissipated, as I began working on June. I'd finish up a sheet of names, and begin a new one. I'd scan the information, and found myself looking at the dates.
How far would this take me?
From 6/5 to 6/11. Six days. About five deaths per day on average.
It is like the air being withdrawn from a balloon. A quick deflation.
This is my challenge. Not getting caught up in the details of what I am doing to a degree that I can't work on the project.
The need to absorb these realities works at cross purposes at times to the progress of the project. It is awareness that I am trying to create. But the process of creation creates hyper-awareness that can be overwhelming. I need to try and close my brain off to the calendar progress. Through 2007, at least, it will be slow going. If I get calendar-centric, it will be even slower going.
I have made almost 1700 polymer clay cranes. I have over 6200 waxed paper cranes, and more from vellum and magazine articles. That is a lot of cranes. I need to remind myself of that sometimes. Not be always looking forward to all that work yet to be done, but occasionally looking over my shoulder at all that has already happened. Letting that shore me up when the slog seems too long and hard.
Take a look...quite a few cranes, huh?
Of course, shear magnitude of the numbers, and the fact the number keeps growing is perhaps a small part of the challenge. It is easy to feel overwhelmed. But I knew it was something deeper than that.
Why?
In the beginning of a new project, there is lots of energy, and that surely has worn off by now. But, this was deeper than that.
What was it?
I think I finally figured out where at least part of the challenge was coming from.
I print out the names and other information that I transfer on to the wings in sheets of thirty. And I make the cranes in a tray with eight at a time. Those numbers; the numbers per sheet, and per tray, could be considered the constants of this project. What has changed though, is that as I moved into late 2004, and beyond, is the rate of casualties.
May 2005 seemed as if it would never end. I would make a tray of cranes and be dismayed to see that it was only a few days at best. I finally finished May, and felt a sense of renewal as I began a new month. This energy was quickly dissipated, as I began working on June. I'd finish up a sheet of names, and begin a new one. I'd scan the information, and found myself looking at the dates.
How far would this take me?
From 6/5 to 6/11. Six days. About five deaths per day on average.
It is like the air being withdrawn from a balloon. A quick deflation.
This is my challenge. Not getting caught up in the details of what I am doing to a degree that I can't work on the project.
The need to absorb these realities works at cross purposes at times to the progress of the project. It is awareness that I am trying to create. But the process of creation creates hyper-awareness that can be overwhelming. I need to try and close my brain off to the calendar progress. Through 2007, at least, it will be slow going. If I get calendar-centric, it will be even slower going.
I have made almost 1700 polymer clay cranes. I have over 6200 waxed paper cranes, and more from vellum and magazine articles. That is a lot of cranes. I need to remind myself of that sometimes. Not be always looking forward to all that work yet to be done, but occasionally looking over my shoulder at all that has already happened. Letting that shore me up when the slog seems too long and hard.
Take a look...quite a few cranes, huh?
Saturday, March 21, 2009
Fiscal Sponsorship.....Yayyyy!!!
I have received fiscal sponsorship for this project from the New York Foundation for the Arts. What does that mean? It means that donations to the project are now tax deductible, when they ar made through NYFA. It means that they see this project as one they want to help succeed. It took two rounds of applications, and lots of learning about the process of applying for grants and more, but it is a big psychological boost.
Thursday evening I was in Hartford, at Real Art Ways. This project was one of those in a Slide Slam shown that night. Images of the work of 126 artists were shown. I also was able to talk with a few people about the project....planting seeds....always planting seeds.
Thursday evening I was in Hartford, at Real Art Ways. This project was one of those in a Slide Slam shown that night. Images of the work of 126 artists were shown. I also was able to talk with a few people about the project....planting seeds....always planting seeds.
Six Years
Six years.
Nearly $607 trillion dollars.
4260 American soldiers.
Nearly 100,000 (or more) Iraqi citizens.
317 Coalition forces.
167 Journalists.
More than 447 contractors.
Why?
Nearly $607 trillion dollars.
4260 American soldiers.
Nearly 100,000 (or more) Iraqi citizens.
317 Coalition forces.
167 Journalists.
More than 447 contractors.
Why?
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Ambivalence about Contractors
For a long time, I was very ambivalent about whether or not to include the contractors in this project. I suppose the ambivalence comes from a few different places. First, there are all the stories about Blackwater that made me want to just stay away from the subject all together. Secondly, these were people who chose to go to this war in a way that military people do not. They are hired, and can quit or be fired. Did it make sense to include these numbers?
I honestly avoided the question for most of last year. I didn't want to make a decision. About a month ago, I started to look at the information on the contractor's deaths. There were 446 known deaths to contractors. As I scan the information I knew I had to include them. Give someone a name and other statistics, and it seemed criminal to exclude them from the project.
As I thought about my decision there was another factor that pushed me towards inclusion. By using contractors, we are hiring out jobs that in previous wars would have been done by our our military forces. By hiring out these jobs, their losses do not show up in the counts. The numbers that we tend to see are being artificial reduced by this tactic of using contractors. Realizing this made it a firm decision for me.
I still don't know what I will fold to represent contractors who lost their lives. Paper printed to look like dollar bills? Vellum in another color? I don't know yet. But, their numbers, as best as they can be known, will be represented.
I honestly avoided the question for most of last year. I didn't want to make a decision. About a month ago, I started to look at the information on the contractor's deaths. There were 446 known deaths to contractors. As I scan the information I knew I had to include them. Give someone a name and other statistics, and it seemed criminal to exclude them from the project.
As I thought about my decision there was another factor that pushed me towards inclusion. By using contractors, we are hiring out jobs that in previous wars would have been done by our our military forces. By hiring out these jobs, their losses do not show up in the counts. The numbers that we tend to see are being artificial reduced by this tactic of using contractors. Realizing this made it a firm decision for me.
I still don't know what I will fold to represent contractors who lost their lives. Paper printed to look like dollar bills? Vellum in another color? I don't know yet. But, their numbers, as best as they can be known, will be represented.
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Christmas Eve in Iraq
This was not the blog post I had planned for my next post.
But sometimes, life intervenes, and let's you know that you need to adapt. This is one such moment.
Each day, at least once a day, I go to an online database, and check the counts; of American soldiers, other coalition forces, journalists and contractors. If there is any change, I make my updates manually to this blog, and a lens I have made about the project on Squidoo. It is a task I mostly do with little thinking; clicking on the bookmark that takes me to the information that I need. And, most days, in recent months, the numbers do not change. Deaths are declining. So, it perhaps hits me a little harder when I do see a change. The last few days the numbers have climbed, from 4209 to 4216.
Today, three soldiers died in southern Iraq in a vehicle accident. 12/24/08. While we are busy preparing for the holidays, or worrying about the economy, there are people who have families and friends in harms way every day. So in addition to the burdens we all carry everyday, they have a profound one.
Over the next week of celebrations, if you find yourself being annoyed by one of your relatives, or impatient with your spouse, pause for a moment and recognize that you are lucky that you only need be annoyed. Think about the friends and family who are receiving news of the loss of the person they hold dear. And try and hold them in your thoughts for a few moments in the next few days. Send them as much love and strength as you can. They will need it. And for all the other people who have already lost loved ones, or have family or friends serving now, or heading off to duty soon.
And I wish all of you, a year filled with much peace, love, good health and prosperity, as is humanly possible!
But sometimes, life intervenes, and let's you know that you need to adapt. This is one such moment.
Each day, at least once a day, I go to an online database, and check the counts; of American soldiers, other coalition forces, journalists and contractors. If there is any change, I make my updates manually to this blog, and a lens I have made about the project on Squidoo. It is a task I mostly do with little thinking; clicking on the bookmark that takes me to the information that I need. And, most days, in recent months, the numbers do not change. Deaths are declining. So, it perhaps hits me a little harder when I do see a change. The last few days the numbers have climbed, from 4209 to 4216.
Today, three soldiers died in southern Iraq in a vehicle accident. 12/24/08. While we are busy preparing for the holidays, or worrying about the economy, there are people who have families and friends in harms way every day. So in addition to the burdens we all carry everyday, they have a profound one.
Over the next week of celebrations, if you find yourself being annoyed by one of your relatives, or impatient with your spouse, pause for a moment and recognize that you are lucky that you only need be annoyed. Think about the friends and family who are receiving news of the loss of the person they hold dear. And try and hold them in your thoughts for a few moments in the next few days. Send them as much love and strength as you can. They will need it. And for all the other people who have already lost loved ones, or have family or friends serving now, or heading off to duty soon.
And I wish all of you, a year filled with much peace, love, good health and prosperity, as is humanly possible!
Sunday, December 7, 2008
The Suicides of War
One of the things I find most troubling as I learn more about the cost of this war is getting a deeper understanding of the psychological toll of war. I guess it should not be surprising, but I am not sure how else to describe it.
The Department of Defense recently released a report classifying deaths and injuries that have occurred as a result of "Operation Iraqi Freedom". It covers the period from the beginning of the war, through till November 1, 2008. During that time period there have been 167 military personnel who have died from "self-inflicted wounds". Suicide. And another 24 have died as a result of homicide.
The mix of relative youth, stress in the battlefield, and perhaps at home, and weapons make this a very real likelihood. As I try to imagine the personal pain that someone might be under to reach that point of taking their lives, it is easier than I would like it to be. Multiple deployments. Relationships under strain or failing. Financial challenges back home that are out of their control. Perhaps a vulnerability to depression. I am sure you can envision the challenges these men and women face too.
As easy as it is to "understand" this situation, which really is incomprehensible, I find myself wondering, "What if?" What if this war never happened? What sort of life would this person have led? What life did they miss out on because of this war? Would they have struggled in life regardless of being in a war, or would their life have followed a very different trajectory?
The same applies to the homicides. Would this person have been killed in this way if they had not been sent off to this war? Would the person who killed them never have committed such an act outside of this environment? Or did they live with the same risks here at home? Doing the math, the rate actually ends up being comparable to the rate of suicide for men, in their early twenties, in the U.S.
After the soldiers return home the risk for suicide seems to increase. A study of epidemiological data by CBS News, found that the rate of suicides among veterans, aged 20 to 24, was between 22.9 and 31.9 per 100,000, compared to a rate of 8.3 per 100,000 for non-veterans, in 2005. There were approximately 120 suicides per week among this group.
These numbers do not get counted as casualties of this war.
Should they? I think so.
The Department of Defense recently released a report classifying deaths and injuries that have occurred as a result of "Operation Iraqi Freedom". It covers the period from the beginning of the war, through till November 1, 2008. During that time period there have been 167 military personnel who have died from "self-inflicted wounds". Suicide. And another 24 have died as a result of homicide.
The mix of relative youth, stress in the battlefield, and perhaps at home, and weapons make this a very real likelihood. As I try to imagine the personal pain that someone might be under to reach that point of taking their lives, it is easier than I would like it to be. Multiple deployments. Relationships under strain or failing. Financial challenges back home that are out of their control. Perhaps a vulnerability to depression. I am sure you can envision the challenges these men and women face too.
As easy as it is to "understand" this situation, which really is incomprehensible, I find myself wondering, "What if?" What if this war never happened? What sort of life would this person have led? What life did they miss out on because of this war? Would they have struggled in life regardless of being in a war, or would their life have followed a very different trajectory?
The same applies to the homicides. Would this person have been killed in this way if they had not been sent off to this war? Would the person who killed them never have committed such an act outside of this environment? Or did they live with the same risks here at home? Doing the math, the rate actually ends up being comparable to the rate of suicide for men, in their early twenties, in the U.S.
After the soldiers return home the risk for suicide seems to increase. A study of epidemiological data by CBS News, found that the rate of suicides among veterans, aged 20 to 24, was between 22.9 and 31.9 per 100,000, compared to a rate of 8.3 per 100,000 for non-veterans, in 2005. There were approximately 120 suicides per week among this group.
These numbers do not get counted as casualties of this war.
Should they? I think so.
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